PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE
is so much unhappiness in the home! Homes that should be a bit of heaven on
earth are a large bit of pure misery. The divorce courts are filled to capacity
with people mumbling about their inability to obtain happiness. Little children
are left stunned and defeated by another broken home.
has happened to the couple that just a short time ago pledged, "To death
do us part?" The planned happiness is gone. The home is broken. The
children are left without a mother or a daddy. God has not intended for this to
happen. Why do so many homes and marriages break up today?
reasons could be listed, (as we will see later), but I believe the primary
reason homes and marriages break up, is because of a lack of serious
preparation. Like everything else of importance, marriage must be prepared for.
this lesson we want to look at a few facts about preparation for marriage.
A. "PREPARATION" (defined)
preparing or being prepared; a preparatory measure; the act of making ready;
1. The happiness we all desire in marriage does not
come overnight or by accident. It comes through many hours of planning and
effort by both parties.
2. Like peace, happiness must be sought (I Peter
I. THOSE WHO NEED TO
BE TAUGHT ABOUT PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE:
A. PARENTS NEED TO BE TAUGHT:
1. There are three classes of parents:
a. Those who are anxious for their children
that the home responsibility might be lessened. (This is the wrong attitude).
Those who are selfish, and for selfish reasons
want their children captives. (This is wrong attitude.)
c. Those who take a
100% "hands off" attitude
of "let the child decide entirely for himself." (This is also wrong
2. Parents must be concerned, but not
dominating. This concern must
however, be shown many years before a son or daughter gives or receives an
3. What percent of parents discuss the realities of
marriage and married life with their teenager? This job is like whipping a
naughty child -- too easy to put off.
4. Most parents leave this job to some
magazine editor instead of doing it themselves in a spiritual manner.
Parents are to bring their children up in the
"nurture and admonition of the Lord", and this includes a lot more
than learning the books of the Bible and the names of the apostles.
B. CHILDREN NEED TO BE
1. What are children? Those who are old enough to
begin to grasp the responsibilities and facts of life.
a. This is younger
than the parents might think.
II. WHY TEACH ABOUT
PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE?
A. BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF MARRIAGE
1. It was instituted by God as the first and most
binding of human contracts, and it is sacred in His sight.
a. Genesis 2:21-25
2. It is compared to the relationship of Christ and
a. Ephesians 5:25-33
Woman was created to be man's help meet (Gen.
a. Woman is to help man attain his highest natural
happiness and perfection, mentally, bodily, spiritually, and he is to render
the same service unto her.
B. BECAUSE OF THE PERMANENCE OF THE MARRIAGE BOND
1. Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 19:6; I Cor.
2. There is no hint or suggestion of trial or
companionate marriage in the plan which God has given to the human family.
TO AVOID THE EVIL OF DIVORCE
1. Many people have lost their respect for marriage.
2. Many young people are disgusted with the sight of
failure. Many have resolved to
3. The divorce rate is alarming: "During one
five-year period there were 1,600,000 marriages and 400,000 divorces granted.
The United States leads the world in divorce rate.
D. BECAUSE LOVE IS BINDING
1. It can easily cause Christian boys and girls to be
drawn into the wrong company and ruined. I Cor. 15:33
2. Hard to advise one
who is blinded with love.
3. Preparation is made before a thing; difficult
E. BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY FALSE IDEAS ABOUT MARRIAGE:
1. Many believe that love is the only thing that
2. Motion pictures, novels, and advertisements all
hammer this idea home.
3. This is why each year thousands of couples
aware of their disillusioned condition.
4. This suggests that selecting life partners
on the basis of this supposed "love feeling" is not enough.
SOME AREAS WE MUST PREPARE IN:
A. PHYSICAL PREPARATION:
1. A strong, healthy body is a wonderful asset to a
2. Illness and physical weakness often put severe
strains on marriage.
3. A sincere effort should be made to avoid habits
such as smoking, drinking, and any others that are harmful to the body.
I Corinthians 3:16,17
B. MORAL PREPARATION:
1. There is no substitute for moral purity.
2. Romans 13:9
C. INTELLECTUAL PREPARATION:
1. The higher the educational level, the
chance for success in marriage.
2. A study of 60 teenage brides in Iowa
55 percent regretted marrying before completing high school.
3. One study of marriages
in a high school showed
that among 240 married couples ••• (Where one or both had dropped out of
school) only sixteen couples were still living together after five years.
One sociologist reports that "the divorce
rate for those who marry in their teens is six times as high as that in any
5. Someone has suggested the following reasons why
teenagers are too young to marry:
a. Marriage is serious business and there
more to being serious than simply to wish or desire. Teenagers cannot have
enough knowledge about marriage to really be serious about it.
b. Teenagers have not
yet really learned to live
c. Too often boys do not realize they are trying to
find a shortcut to manhood by assuming outward signs, one of which is marriage.
d. Teenagers cannot promise to be steadfast, true and
constant to another human being because they are not really in a position to
keep that promise. Their growth, development and education are all incomplete.
Persons mature physically before they mature in
f. Ten years later, the teenager will not be at all
the same kind of person he or she is now.
D. VOCATIONAL PREPARATION:
1. "Two can live as cheaply as one",
provided one doesn't eat, dress, get sick, or care to go out anywhere.
The husband is the bread winner.
3. One must not cut short his educational
vocational preparation for marriage.
4. We are living in the age "of education".
It is a must if one does not want to starve along with his family.
E. SPIRITUAL PREPARATION:
1. Are you a Christian? This includes a regular
attendance at church services, but even more than this - read the Sermon of the
Mount in Matthew 5-7.
2. The Lord must be first in the Christian's life.
3. Both parties should be a Christian.
F. EMOTIONAL PREPARATION:
1. One of the chief causes of failure
in marriage is
emotional immaturity on the part of one of the partners.
2. Adams' (Making Your Marriage Succeed, pp. 33,34) suggests the following tests for genuine
a. You should be able to carry a reasonable load of
emotional tension without blowing up.
b. You should have outgrown childish and
fears and anxieties such as fear of the dark or of being alone.
c. Learn to expect
to be treated as a responsible
partner in marriage.
d. You should be emotionally independent of your
parents and able to stand on your own feet and make your own decisions in life.
DISCUSSION AND ANSWER:
1. There is much _____________________
in the world.
2. Does God want us to be happy? ___Yes ___No
3. Does happiness come by accident? ___Yes ___No
4. Do we need more education on the subject of
marriage? ___Yes ___No
5. Is successful marriage the responsibility of the
woman more than the man?
6. Do you believe that the lack of information on the
purpose, function and the indissolubleness of marriage is a primary cause of
many divorces? ___Yes ___No
7. Where can we obtain the best teaching on marriage?
8. List two groups that must be taught about
a. ___________________________ b.
9. Parents are to bring their children up in the
___________________ and ______________________ of the Lord.
10. List five (5) reasons for teaching
11. Who instituted
Marriage is compared to what in Ephesians
How long should marriage last?
During one 5-year period there were ________
marriages and _______ divorces granted.
15. Is love binding? ___Yes
16. List three (3) mediums that give false
17. List six (6) areas we must prepare for marriage
a. ___________________________ d.
b. ___________________________ e.
c. ___________________________ f.
18. In Iowa out of ________ teenage brides, ________
regretted marriage before completing school.
19. Out of _________ married couples, after
only __________ couples were still living together.
20. Can two live as
cheaply as one? ___Yes ___No
21. Should a boy be prepared in a vocation, or with a
good education before marriage?
22. Who must come first in a Christian's life? _______________________
23. Should emotional preparation be made? ___Yes ___No
Does being married cause you to grow up? ___Yes ___No
25. Should you still depend on your parents after
marriage? ___Yes ___No
* Many thoughts in this
lecture have been taken from Marriage, Divorce, and Purity, by Joe D. Schubert, Pub. by Biblical Research
Press, Abilene, Texas.