BIBLICAL FULFILLMENT
Courtship (#2)
I am Jessie Mills, Ph.D.
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LESSON FOUR

 

COURTSHIP (#2)

 

INTRODUCTION

In our lesson last week we noticed some facts about courtship. We noticed that the first step before dating is usually friendship. There are several things that are essential in developing a good friendship. Likewise, there are many things that are detrimental to a good friendship.

We also noticed some uncertainties in the dating period. But perhaps the most important thing we discussed was our standard of behavior while out on a date. The standard of the world must not be the standard of the Christian. The Word of God is the standard for the Christian.

In this lesson we want to continue our study of courtship and some more things that relate to it.

I. THE CHURCH AND COURTSHIP

A. THE CHURCH IS NOT PRIMARILY A MATCH-MAKING INSTITUTION. BUT WE CAN BE WELL PROUD OF THE FRIENDSHIP WHICH GROWS DEEPER UNTIL THEIR DESTINIES END IN MARRIAGE.

B. NOTICE SOME ADVANTAGES THE CHURCH OFFERS:

1. The church offers a meeting ground for its members who hold and share a common interest.

2. Its activities are Christ centered.

3. Its activities demand the cooperation of all who care for its welfare.

4. Friendship develops in this atmosphere.

5. What better place to meet a godly person, than at the Lord's Assembly?

C. THINGS THE LOCAL CONGREGATION CAN DO TO PROVIDE FELLOWSHIP AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE YOUNG TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER:

1. Fellowship among our members.

2. Area-wide youth fellowships.

3. Projects where cooperation and work is required of all.

4. Special events and services for young people.

5. What suggestion do you have?

II. THE CHRISTIAN COLLEGE AND COURTSHIP

A. NINETY-SIX PERCENT OF ALL THE COLLEGE STUDENTS IN A CHRISTIAN COLLEGE ARE CHRISTIANS.

1. What a wonderful opportunity for a Christian to meet another Christian with similar interests.

B. THERE ARE MANY ACTIVITIES PECULIAR TO THE CHRISTIAN COLLEGE:

1. Chapel services each day (A time to worship God).

2. Periods of singing and prayer.

3. Bible reading and studying.

4. Good moral, clean companions.

5. All activities are wholesome and pure.

6. High standard of morality demanded of students.

7. Teachers who are Christians.

C. WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE TO GO AND RECEIVE A GOOD EDUCATION, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME BEING ABLE TO MEET THAT DEDICATED PERSON YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.

III. SOME THINGS TO BE AWARE OF DURING THE DATING PERIOD

A. DATING TURNS INTO MATE SELECTION.

B. LET'S ASK SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS PERSON WE ARE GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT:

1. Does he or she have real character?

a. This is one of the most important basis for a successful Christian marriage to be based upon.

b. Solomon describes a woman's real character in Proverbs 31:

2. What about his or her family background?

a. "I'm not marrying her family", is a popular statement.  Don't fool yourself. His or her family will play a big part usually in your marriage success.

b. It's hard for two people with different backgrounds to find anything in common.

c. But one might say, "But we love each other, and that's all that matters". Again don't fool yourself with this type of thinking.

(1) What will happen after the infatuation wears off?

d. Accept it or not, family backgrounds are important in selecting a mate.

3. Is he or she sympathetic and considerate?

a. For and toward other people.

b. Would you want to be married to an unconcerned and highly critical person?

4. Does he or she have a cheerful outlook on life?

a. The person whose outlook of life included generous impulses toward people and things is the one that you should single out as a possible good marriage partner.

b. Don't link your life with someone who is overly critical.

5. IS he or she physically attractive to you?

a. Of course you want to be proud of the appearance of the person you marry; that goes without saying.

b. But what do we mean by physical attractiveness?

(1) A Zulu with a nose ring would not qualify in America, but according to jungle standards she might be a glamour girl.

(2) After all, beauty is largely a matter of social custom.

c. It is important, however, that the mate you choose be physically attractive TO YOU.

(1) Don't worry about pleasing others. You are the one who must spend a lifetime with the mate you choose.

6. Does he or she have good health?

a. Some facts to consider before marrying someone with poor health.

(1) There may be no children. (Can you accept this?)

(2) If there are children, they may inherit tendencies to physical weakness. (Can you be patient with this?)

(3) Medical care may be a severe financial strain. (Are you prepared for it?)

(4) Health may affect entire family. (Are you ready for their fear, remarks of sorrow, cuts about, etc?)

(5) Can effect ones outlook on life (Happiness or unhappiness).

b. This is not to say that marriage where sickness exists is impossible. Many happy marriages have been established out of such conditions. The point is: that you need to be fully aware of such conditions, so that you can enter the marriage well aware of the problem that exists.

7. Do you have similar interests?

a. Similar interests are a must!

(1) In one sense similar interests suggest such things as hobbies, sports, arts and other cultural tastes.

(2) The dullest thing in the world is for two people to live together and have nothing in common to share.

C. SEEK YOUR COMPANION AT THE RIGHT PLACE:

1. Entertain through mediums where you:

a. Have discerned between good and evil (I Thess. 5:21; Gal. 5:19ff).

b. Do not harm your body (Romans 12:1; I Cor. 6:19).

c. Do not appeal to the indecent (Phil. 4:8f).

d. Where you do not undermine Spirituality.

e. Where you will not be among corrupt "moral companions" (I Cor. 14:35).

f. Where you will not destroy your influence (Prov. 22:1; I Cor. 8: 13) •

g. Friendship with God will not be strained (John 15:15).

D. SEEK A COMPANION WHO IS ALREADY HAPPY:

1. If one has not been happy in single life, it is not likely that he will be in married life.

a. Marriage is not a "cure-all".

2. Many are in the habit of being miserable - don't marry a grouch, it is not likely he or she will change.

3. Some of the joy of married life is drawn from earlier single life, and some of the happiness of old age is drawn from earlier married life and youth. So be happy as you are, whether married or single. Keep your head level and your heart pure. Learn to be content. (Phil. 4:11)

REVIEW QUESTIONS

1. Is the Church a match-making institution? __________ Yes  __________ No

2. List four (4) advantages the church offers.

1.

2.

3.

4.

3. List four (4) ways the local congregation can promote fellowship

1.

2.

3.

4.

4. What percent of the students in Christian colleges are Christians? _______________________________

5. List five (5) activities that are peculiar to the Christian college.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6. Would a Christian college be a good place to find a good marriage mate? _________ Yes  _________ No

7. List seven (7) questions we should ask about the person we are getting serious about.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8. Seek your ____________________ at the ____________________ place.

9. List seven (7) things that should be considered when you plan entertainment.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

10. Seek a _______________ who is _______________  _______________.

11. A person who is not happy in single life will become so in marriage. __________ Yes  __________ No

12. Marriage is not a “ _______________  _______________”.

13. Don't marry a ____________________.

14. Is it likely an unhappy person will change after marriage? __________ Yes   __________ No

15. Some of the happiness of married life is drawn from single life. __________ Yes  __________ No

16. Should we be happy as we are? __________ Yes  __________ No

17. Write out Philippians 4:11. 

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© Copyright 2015 by Jessie Mills. All Rights Reserved by the author, Jessie E. Mills, Jr. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior express written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in critical reviews or other publications. Such quotations must be used with proper reference to their context and give appropriate credit to their authorship.