MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBILITY
I. MARRIAGE DEFINED: Genesis 2:23-24
Marriage is an agreement by which a man and woman
consent to live together as husband and wife, mutually accepting all the
responsibilities that the relationship involves and properly expecting all the
rights and privileges incident thereto.
Marriage then is the contract by which a home is established:
a. If marriage were
ONLY a civil contract it would
still hold first place in importance as far as this life is concerned.
1. In 20th century America, C. W. Scudder notes, we
may need to be reminded that God, who created man, also designed marriage. Too
often we consider marriage a social custom only and ignore the spiritual
dimension that it contains. God created humanity in two parts, male and female,
and each was made to complete the other in every way, biologically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
2. Marriage is a sacred union of man and
designed to complete one another's existence. Jesus affirmed this in Matthew
3. Marriage is to be considered the strongest of all
human ties. No human relationship, even that of parent and child, is to have
priority over it. Marriage changes our primary relationship from that of a son
or daughter to that of a husband or wife.
II. MARRIAGE WAS ORDAINED BY GOD: (For happiness
and well being of mankind)
GENESIS 2:18 ff CF. Matthew 19:9
Marriage is far more than a civil contract in which the state is concerned.
Marriage, in its scriptural sense, is a permanent
union of two personalities under God's law and before man. This union is
entered for the remainder of the natural lives of those taking the marriage
vows, Matthew 19:6. And any deviation from this divinely ordained plan must be
the exception and not the rule.
B. MARRIAGE IS A COMPLETE FUSION OF THE
POSSESSIONS AND CARES OF BOTH THE MAN AND WOMAN:
1. "I" must be subordinated
2. Even father and mother must take a secondary
position. Husbands and wives are required to put each other first.
3. "Two minds with
but a single thought. Two
hearts that beat as one."
C. MARRIAGE WAS:
1. Ordained of God in the beginning (Genesis 2:24).
2. Confirmed by Christ
(Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7).
3. Confirmed by Paul (Ephesians 5:31).
D. EXPRESSED BY:
1. Joining together (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:8;
2. Taking to wife:
Moses parents (Ex. 2:1).
Boaz and Ruth (Ruth 4:13).
E. COMMENDED IN THE SCRIPTURES:
Old Testament (Proverbs 18:22; 31:10-12; Jer. 29:6).
New Testament (I Timothy 3:12; I Timothy 5:14; Hebrews 13:4).
F. AUTHORITY IN MARRIAGE:
1. Husband head of the wife, as Christ is the head of
the Church. (I Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23,25).
2. Wife submissive
to husband as unto the Lord
(Ephesians 5:22; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:5; I Peter 3:1).
3. Example of submission
in marriage: (Sarah, I Peter
4. Common rule for relationships in marriage and the
home (Matt. 7:12).
III. A MUTUAL TRUST:
heart of her husband TRUSTETH in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. She
doeth him good, and not evil all the days of her life" (Proverbs
How do we know the trust is mutual? (I Corinthians 7:2,3,4; I Corinthians
HOW THE HUSBAND SHOWS HIS TRUST:
He works for her (Genesis 29:20).
He gives her his best (Est. 2:17).
He loves her as:
His body (Eph. 5:28)
Himself (Eph. 5:33)
Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).
He comforts her (I Samuel 1:8ff).
He consults with her (Genesis 31:4-7).
He is faithful to her (Proverbs 5:19).
He honors her (I Peter 3:7).
HOW THE WIFE SHOWS HER TRUST:
How is a worthy woman to complete her husband's life?
Physically (Genesis 2:24) (I Cor. 7:1-5).
By comforting him (Isaac - Genesis 24:67).
Other evidences of her relationship:
Honor (Est. 1:20).
Not to leave him (I Corinthians 7:10).
Reverence (Ephesians 5:33).
HOW LONG DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP ENDURE? (Romans 7:2)
IV. OBLIGATIONS OF
MARRIAGE: (Ephesians 5:33)
DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND:
1. To leave his family and cleave to his wife
2:23,24; Deut. 24:5; Mark 10:7; Eph. 5:31).
2. To be happy with her (Proverbs 5:18;
3. Not to put her away (I Cor. 7:11).
4. To love her as Christ loved the Church (Eph.
5. To dwell with her according to knowledge (study
her) as the weaker vessel - giving honor as such (I Peter 3:7).
6. To provide for the
family (I Timothy 5:8).
DUTIES OF THE WIFE (Proverbs 31).
1. To honor her husband (Est. 1:20)
2. To manage the house well (Proverbs 31:27)
3. Not to leave her
husband (I Corinthians 7:10)
4. To be submissive (not to usurp authority over
him)(Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; I Timothy 2:12).
5. To be gracious, not slanderous, sober,
faithful - I
6. To love her husband and children - Titus 2:4.
WHY ONE MAN AND ONE WIFE?
1. Adam had but one wife (Genesis 2:18-24).
2. Each man had one wife in the ark (Genesis 7:13).
3. Wife is "singular"
when used by Christ
4. Paul endorsed one man having one wife (I
5. Elders and deacons were to have but one wife (I
V. MARRIAGE A FIGURE OF
GOD'S UNION WITH THE CHURCH.
Isa. 54:5; 62:5; Jer. 3:14; Hos. 2:19; Matt. 22:2; 25:10
1. Christ as bridegroom
(Matt. 9:15; 25:1,6; John
3:29; Rev. 21:2).
2. Church as the bride (Isa. 62:5; II Cor. 11:2; Rev.
19:7; 21:2; 22:17).
VI. QUALITIES TO BE
DEVELOPED DURING MARRIAGE:
1. Love (I Cor. 13:4-8).
2. Kindness (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12).
3. Self-control (II Peter 1:15).
4. Courtesy (Col. 4:6).
5. Co-operation (Matt. 18:19; Mark 2:3).
6. Unselfishness (I Cor. 10:33; II Cor. 8:9).
7. Compassion (Acts 16:33).
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Marriage is not merely a physical union or a legal contract, but a divine
oneness for the following purposes:
did God say, "Leave" and "Cleave"? What does that imply?
Should a wife obey her husband's wishes when they are contrary to the Lord's
teaching? (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18).
can two people be happily married when they differ in:
Where to place the values?
would you formulate a definition of marriage? What does marriage mean to you?
either party have the greater responsibility in marriage?
what does a man entrust the woman he marries?
there any place for jealousy in a happy home? Gen. 16:5,6; 21:9,10; Song of
Solomon 8:6; Gal. 5:26 -
important would you consider "forgiveness and forbearance"? (Col.
3:13; Eph. 4:2,3).
10. How can we make our homes "Christian"?
Through the centuries,
parents, and children have had their problems. Many mistakes have been made by
each. Too often, little attempt has been made to understand each other. An
understanding of right and wrong (as defined in the Bible) with an understanding
of each other, can blend together to produce happy homes. The following survey
is to help you arrive at that very point. Carefully answer each question with
the answer you feel bests express the way you feel about the point. Therefore,
be completely honest in order that we might have a more perfect approach to the
problem. NO ONE WILL SIGN HIS OR HER NAME.
I. DISCIPLINE AS IT
RELATES TO PARENTS AND YOUTH:
1. Do you feel your parents are happy they have children?
2. Do you think your parents are fair in discipline? What do you think would be fair?
3. Do you think parents should ever spank children?
4. Do your parents still spank you? If not, at what age did they stop? ________
5. At what age do you think parents should stop spanking
__________ 6. Do you get mad (or pout) when your
parents correct you? Do you think such reactions helps you in any way?
__________ 7. Would you rather for your parents to
spank you rather than talk to you when you have done wrong?
__________ 8. Are you more likely to obey your
mother or father? (Underline which) Why? (Explain).
__________ 9. Do your mother and father usually
agree in regard to what you should, or should not do?
Do your parents disagree about you while you are present? Do you think this
wise? If they do, how do you react?
Do you feel a sense of fear toward your parents?
Do you think a feeling of fear created in the child is necessary to make the
Is it easier to talk to one parent, than the other for you? If so, explain why.
Is there more than one child in your family?
Do you think your parents show "favoritism" (allowing one to get away
with more than the other)?
Do you think your parents try to understand your side when they decide to
Does the discipline they give make you want to do better?
18. List the ways you
have received discipline from your parents.
19. List other ways
discipline could be applied.
20. Now, check the three
ways you think best.
Now consider how you
would discipline the following children: (Circle the answer you like best).
1. Your child has lied
to you about where he was
going, but you did not find out until he had already gone. What would you do?
Give him a good spanking?
Make him write, "I told a lie, and I am sorry" 500 times?
Read the Bible about lying (or show it to him and make him read from it).
Your child has stolen some goods from a store.
What would you do?
Give him a good spanking.
Get him before other children and shame him as a "Young No-Good
c. Make him take the goods back to the owner,
apologize to him, and offer to work in order to repay the damage done.
Your daughter has been doing some things that
shocked you when you heard of it. What would you do?
Bawl her out and shame her for what she has done to the family name.
Threaten to make her leave home if she is ever guilty again.
Tell her how much it hurt you and urge her never to do it again.
d. Talk with her and
ask her why she has done such?
Have you considered what it will do for your future? Do you feel good about it
now that it is known?
4. If you heard that your child was slipping around
smoking, what would you do?
a. Give them a good spanking and promise them
if they are caught again.
b. Tell them you wish they wouldn't do it but
are going to smoke, come and you will buy them for them. Don't bum them.
Discuss the Bible teaching on cleanness; the body
a temple of the Holy Spirit; consider the cost; ask them what good will it do?
Could it harm?